#29 My Three Birthday Wishes And A Little More
It's been a long day. A dichotomy within; a special day , yet just like any other day. 21st. And reaching 18 (the coming of age), is over-rated.
I realised there are things for me to learn today.
Wish #1: That RP would grow in Spirit and in Truth. We would understand more about the Word and hence be rooted in the Word. That emotions do not lead us astray as easily as it does at times. RP is not the place for emotions and pride. RP is the place for a holy harvest.
Wish #2: That the friends that were there with me on that fateful, God-given day, 19th December 2006, Stanley, Cedric, Lester, Heng Yu and myself; we'd all be serving in love long after. I saw the effort they put in and can't help but feel guilty. I was late; I was affected by the rain but they weren't. That day proved at least one thing; status or what others see me doesn't matter; only what's inside me. And that day, sadly, I wasn't up to the grade.
You know, brothers, keep up that zeal for God, there are endless possibilities...
I know, I know, a bit self-bashing. But it's the truth.
And finally, the one my shepherd asked. Ha ha, to dispel rumours;
Wish #3: I wish that 21st December would be a new beginning inside. Deep down I know these few weeks in holiday-mode have not been good. It's the decisions I made, the things I did. I wish I were more faithful. I wish I'd taken the harvest with as much urgency as I had taken my birthday, sadly. Time is not going to turn back. You see, I really wanted to do great things. But this time, I let the "I don't know how" excuse affect me.
Now I don't want to know how. I just want to do it.
Faithfulness. I never really grasped it as well as I thought.
And today I felt very empty. I had wasted the day. You see, I thought spending time playing computer games with my brothers and catching up with my parents and granny would have been wonderful. It turns out that after having known Christ, all these are not enough. Because inside I was longing to do something more, something lasting. The only time I felt not wasted was the QT and the confirmation.
So very different from two years ago. Nevertheless I thank God for everyone who wished; everyone who wished me happy birthday, even those whom I (regretly) forgot...
Perhaps this is what turning 18 means.
And still you gave me consolation. Appreciate the supper, my Father. :)
I realised there are things for me to learn today.
Wish #1: That RP would grow in Spirit and in Truth. We would understand more about the Word and hence be rooted in the Word. That emotions do not lead us astray as easily as it does at times. RP is not the place for emotions and pride. RP is the place for a holy harvest.
Wish #2: That the friends that were there with me on that fateful, God-given day, 19th December 2006, Stanley, Cedric, Lester, Heng Yu and myself; we'd all be serving in love long after. I saw the effort they put in and can't help but feel guilty. I was late; I was affected by the rain but they weren't. That day proved at least one thing; status or what others see me doesn't matter; only what's inside me. And that day, sadly, I wasn't up to the grade.
You know, brothers, keep up that zeal for God, there are endless possibilities...
I know, I know, a bit self-bashing. But it's the truth.
And finally, the one my shepherd asked. Ha ha, to dispel rumours;
Wish #3: I wish that 21st December would be a new beginning inside. Deep down I know these few weeks in holiday-mode have not been good. It's the decisions I made, the things I did. I wish I were more faithful. I wish I'd taken the harvest with as much urgency as I had taken my birthday, sadly. Time is not going to turn back. You see, I really wanted to do great things. But this time, I let the "I don't know how" excuse affect me.
Now I don't want to know how. I just want to do it.
Faithfulness. I never really grasped it as well as I thought.
And today I felt very empty. I had wasted the day. You see, I thought spending time playing computer games with my brothers and catching up with my parents and granny would have been wonderful. It turns out that after having known Christ, all these are not enough. Because inside I was longing to do something more, something lasting. The only time I felt not wasted was the QT and the confirmation.
So very different from two years ago. Nevertheless I thank God for everyone who wished; everyone who wished me happy birthday, even those whom I (regretly) forgot...
Perhaps this is what turning 18 means.
And still you gave me consolation. Appreciate the supper, my Father. :)
posted by Windez at 9:25 AM
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