#57 Reflection

Today was probably the worst day of my entire 18 odd years. The emotional turmoil was breathtaking in a bad way.

Still I praise You.

When words fail you. When deeds fail you. When thoughts fail you. There He is.

So many times today I thought it was the last straw. Thought I'd fall down and just die there. Contradictions, expectations. I didn't even want to take the next breath.

I didn't even want to take the next breath.

I didn't even want to open my eyes.

I didn't know how to face anyone.

Just, run. Away.

****

But amazingly, I did.

And how do I say thanks more to my uncle. Had an unplanned but extremely timely talk with him. We started off on common ground, about our love for video-making, slowly moving on to our faith and what he had learnt through being in Christ and in seeking after God. Their whole family's saved.

But it's at these times you know, you just want to run into their arms, jump into the comfort zone and bask in their protection.

But you see, this doesn't last. True, you might feel totally on the edge when you are out in the storms. But live in that safe area, and you'll die in that safe area. Because no one can go through it if you don't.

What I've learnt from today, what I've learnt from before, only confirms that statement.

Still, teach me. Because I can't go on living on inspiration.