#10 My Apologies!

Argh. Sometimes I just get to short-sighted. Lots of learning to do. Lots of inward-changing to do. Sorry shepherd! x_x...!

The more time passes the more I see I have to grow. It's just, sometimes I don't know how much I have truly grown, it takes effort and observation to see what I have improved more than what I can improve on sometimes. It's like, I've got so many areas in my life to improve all at once. I thank God I've learnt to stop myself from trying to be an octopus and really concentrate on one at a time.

And I really love my sheep. Water-baptised yesterday, born today (20 years ago, that is). Amazing eh? Ha ha. Jason, you rock! Really appreciate this brother of mine; he's really got a heart of gold; one to give up almost anything just to help another. Just don't get taken advantaged off! :D

Had a nice time at VivoCity with the RP DMM. Really wish I had remembered to bring my guitar; we could have our impromptu worship again. Oh well. Anyway I won't say what we did, just that it was awesome, ya? ;)

Which brings to mind the impromptu P&W worship cum games session yesterday! IT ROCKED! It's a pity I ain't too great with such a big group. I'm going to organize something like that again!

Excitement overwhelms. Let the Spirit temper my inside.

#9 I've Been Craving

For God to open my eyes everyday. Every opportunity can be an opportunity the eyes of our hearts are opened. You know, people always say they get impacted when they go for overseas missions trips; the people are nice and the atmosphere is awesome. Here's a revelation:

Attitude made all the difference.

I don't see why we can't have explosive breakthroughs and growth within our local ministry. The main reason I see why people gain a lot overseas is because they expected it. There was a lot of hype and excitement generated and they expect to see God do something.

As a result, God can and does do something.

More often than not though, we take for granted the brothers and sisters around us. We forget that every experience, every encounter is a chance to learn. Then when someone does something that seems "no-link" or "extra", we see the action and criticise.

Rarely do we see the attitude behind it; wanting to do something different and out of the comfort zone.

And you wonder why God isn't doing something mighty in our lands, but others.

That's why, I'm prepared to give up certain things to ensure that chances are created, eyes are opened.

But there's a catch. I need to do it with God.

Isaiah 64:6 All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

Luke 1:35 The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.


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Today marks the beginning of life for 4 brothers and 2 sisters in RP. Its a brand new sheet of paper for a brand new person.

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Oh yeah and Death Note's pretty cool. ;)

#8 Is It True? Mutterings

That when something wonderful by the Spirit is working within, we get this tingling sensation.

This powerful sense of the supernatural. This realisation that things are going to change? And that problems are solved, but we see a deeper level?

More I know, less I feel I know.

And I wondered why pain hurts less, and discouragement didn't last.

Your Hand must be upon me.

You're right. Courage is in faith.

Come now, help me complete this last assignment, then take me into soulful rest.

Hallelujah.

#7 A Little Thursday Retrospect

Ups and downs. Opportunities or disappointments. Everything's a choice.

I'm praying for a miracle within.

#6 The Confession

Woohoo! Somehow the man has found an artistic streak within him. And here are his creations, albeit unpolished. But after years avoiding the pencil and paper, as well as a history of failing all his art examinations and art assignments, voila...!



Revel in the masterpiece of Yours Truly. Need anything else be said? The classmates were shocked.

And so was himself. ^^"!

And now... *drum rolls* for the confession. The biggest fiasco of all time. Ever wonder why Yours Truly never posts pictures on his blog prior to this entry? Well the answer's simple.

He didn't know how.

Must have been the dumbest revelation since Peekaboo-I-See-You.

But anyway it's true.

'Nuff said.

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT. DO NOT PROCEED FURTHER IF YOU HAVE ALLERGIC REACTIONS TO NARCISSISM.

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Hiiiiiiiiiiaaa!



Oops... That's Fabian. Fabs as Luke calls him.



Yahoo! I must have been drunk or something, to pull off such a stunt at the infocounter on Service day. There must have been about a hundred odd faces staring back at me in bewilderment.



This is me. Looking pretty good I must say! And below's a profile shot of me, taken by Fabie so he could draw me. Seems the original prop *Yours Truly* was too fidgety for O' Fabie to properly sketch.



I couldn't contain my self-love. HA!

#5 I Wanna Explore

Mortality. The topic of life and death has really piqued my interest since young. My childhood influences have always taught; fear it, for when it comes, and it will, you're going to lose it all.

But yet through the course of knowing Christ, He has shown how He has broken the power of death over humanity.

Yet, is there a lesson we can learn from mortality, applicable within life?

Of course.

Through the course of the past 2 weeks, I've just come to terms with my *extremely* limited strength. I don't mean the strength as in the ability to lift weights or what, but strength as in the ability to do things per se. In these 2 weeks, I've been getting frailer and frailer, kudos to that sheet of noxious gas in the atmosphere; haze.

So close. Mortality. Within the blink of an eye. You die.

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But then a verse comes back strongly to me as I was walking back home from my dental appointment. It went along these lines:

Whoever loves his life will lose it, but the man who loses his life for me will gain it.

Then another thought just popped in my mind. If you read carefully in the Bible, none, none of the men who honoured God struggled to enjoy their lives on earth with riches when they learnt that they were about to die. They didn't try to travel around the world enjoying their last moments. Or buy all the security guards they could to protect them. Or better still, feign death and escape.

Jesus. Paul. John the Baptist. Destined to die, but they didn't try to fight it. They went along with it as sheep to the slaughter. And they were successful men. Real men.

How curious.

Matthew 16:25
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

Mark 8:35
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.

Luke 9:24
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

Repeated at least thrice in the Bible. Confirmed by 3 of the Apostles.

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Simple things like CTM, DMM, events, QT, shepherding, gatherings.

Do we live life like we should be served and attain the best service? Or do we live life as Jesus taught in Matthew 16:25, Mark 8:35 and Luke 9:24?

It just makes me feel ashamed. The answer was and is in front of me. The direction is clear; God's people, work to bless them, work to teach them, work to correct them, all towards God. DMM isn't just for chitchat. DMM is when we plan for the upcoming battle for God.


Thanks Jesus. I needed that.

#4 It Got Me Thinking...

Ever wondered, if you've got the chance to change the past, how would you go about changing it? My Product Practicuum RJ was something along that lines. Initially I thought I'd just wipe off everything and start anew; you know, a clean slate? But yet, it just struck me hard in the gut as I was taking a shower;

I don't want to change the past, only my perspectives of what's past. History is a lesson we take in secondary school. And often times, we forget to bring it beyond the classroom. History is confined to the four walls of the school. But History in its essence as I've come to realise, is worth its investment many times beyond what we often grant its due. Examples?

The Bible is historical in nature.

And you know what I like about the past? It brought me to where I am right now. And I wouldn't trade it for a life I could choose. Assuming I went to another primary, or secondary school, or even another polytechnic, I might not have know the Jesus that I call Lord, God and Saviour. I'd not have met the friends I have around. Assuming I never made the boo-boos I did, I wouldn't have learnt pain, suffering, humility, trust, hard work and perserverance. I'd have the silver spoon.

When an eagle grows up, it has to soar. But if that eagle grows up not using its wings, when it's fully grown, life's going to be nigh impossible. Yes, its true. I dislike trouble. Yet without trouble, without overcoming the basic teenager trials; face it, I'm never going to be able to overcome the adult trials. And you know what keeps me going?

It's those guys and girls. Yeah. RP 1 + 2. Just had an awesome CG with them a few days ago.

And no, I prefer my voice without sore throat kay? ;)

#3 A Little Chat Between Jesus And Peter

NIV Bible:

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

What it meant:

Jesus: Simon son of John, do you truly AGAPE me more than these?
Peter: Yes, Lord. You know that I PHILIA you.
Jesus: Simon son of John, do you truly AGAPE me?
Peter: Yes, Lord. You know that I PHILIA you.
Jesus: Simon son of John, do you truly AGAPE me?
Peter (exasperated): Yes, Lord. I AGAPE you.
Jesus: Feed my sheep.

AGAPE refers to unconditional, self-sacrificing, volitional, active love.
PHILIA refers to brotherly love, friendship or liking usually based on utility, pleasure, goodness.

Interesting bite-sized food for thought.

#2 Confessions Of A Mel-Phlegm-Sang

The Sanguine in me burned. Hot flames of fury from deep within the reaches of my personality welled up, as with the sudden eruption of a newly-roused active volcano. "This cannot be!" my Sanguine trait roared. "No way!" Amidst that fiery upstart, I could say nothing, mute to a response.

Melancholy stared from a distance, eyes brimming with tears. It wasn't like it not to cower in fear, unwilling to react for fear of reprisal. Silently I wished it hadn't been so passive. So self-belittling.

My only hopes laid in Phlegmatic. As with always, it laid lazily on a couch, unwilling to get up or change the status quo. "None of my business!" It said.

"It's too much to bear! Why of all people, me?" with a resounding cry of frustration Sanguine began again, determined to get attention for its plight.

"Eh, stop it la Windez," came a voice from beyond that situation. "I know you suffering inside. But don't self-high again, can?"

I had just lost my voice.

#1 Seems Like Scrummy Died

Think...heart attack? It was so sudden. I was stricken by the loss of my former blog. Initially, I thought it was only a minor hic-cup to be "automatically" (apparently, this mentality is a side-effect of my simple-minded thinking) fixed by the server.

So here I am with Scrummy v2.0. The blogskin's yet to be fixed, so don't expect much in the near future beyond literary incursions.

Anyway. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!

Too bad I forgot what exactly.

Oh well.